I caved

Ok, let's get the ugly truth out of the way real fast. I caved and saw Art Guy (AG) the other night. On the plus side--I held out for more than a month, and 20 days into the new year. On the negative side--well, how much time do you have?

I'm not going into the gory details but suffice it to say that this little fall off the wagon has prompted me to sign up for Match.com, damned the torpedos..full steam ahead.

Can I afford the silly monthly membership fee? No, of course not. Can I afford to have no potential suitors and thus open myself up to feeling hopeless and seeing Mr. Wrong again? Hellz no. So yeah, I ponied up and have started browsing page after page of men who have made it past my stringent search criteria (35-48 years old, literate, no convictions, etc).

It's not a pretty sight.

Most of the guys look like they've been around the block a few times and I'd venture to guess, they have. Nevertheless, I am being proactive (yay me) and putting myself "out there" (wondering how many cliches I can squeeze into one post) until I no doubt throw my hands up in disgust.

Now, now, dear reader--I know what you are thinking: "Stop being so negative, Sach!" Agreed. I shall temporarily don rose-colored glasses and let the adventure continue.

How far would you go?

I'm an action kind of girl. This is not always a good thing, as I tend to leap before I look. But this is a trait that I admire and enjoy in others, including in my awesome friend Rachel, who upon hearing that I had embarked on this crusade d'amour, pulled out her virtual Rolodex and started picking out eligible men for me to meet.

She called on December 31 to let me know that she already had a few irons in the fire and ran the would-be bachelors by me to gauge my interest. Mr. X is smart as hell...degree from various Ivy Leagues, published author, but maybe a commitment-phobe (40-something, never married). She shoots me his website, complete with photo. Ok, not immediately attracted but it's just a photo. Give her a lukewarm "maybe."

Mr. Y is a divorced father of one who is "incredibly funny with a great voice". The glitch? He lives on the West Coast. Argh. But what's a few thousand miles between potential soul mates?

I greenlight Mr. Y and Rachel writes a witty friendtroduction to the two of us via Facebook. And we're off to the races. Mr. San Fran and I have exchanged a couple of messages over the past few days and may even try to [gasp] speak this coming week. He has a "healthy snack" company and is funny and charming by email. His photos are cute and I'm definitely in "What the hell" mode. Plus, I could use some free snack samples.

And so, I, like chicklit patron saint Elizabeth Gilbert before me, set out for uncharted territory--or at least beyond the beltway in search of the One.

Heart chakra tune-up

It's not like I didn't intuitively know this already, but apparently, my heart chakra is in desperate need of a tune-up, or so say my friends Honi and Rachel over at Holeco Medispa.

When I stopped by today to chat, I told Honi I'd been having back pain and pointed to the area around my upper back where it's been hurting for the past several months since my mom died. She put her hand on my back and managed to pinpoint the exact area that is ground zero for the pain.

"Yes, you are very crunchy here," she said with the knowing clinical tone of a surgeon. "Crunchy?" I asked, somewhat disturbed. Crunchy is fine for potato chips and peanut butter cookies but I wasn't exactly keen on hearing any of my body parts described that way.

"Yes, your tendons are very tight. This is your whole back area, which is connected to your heart chakra." That made sense--my heart chakra being out of whack and all. She insisted I come to a chakra balancing workshop and in the meantime, gave me a delightful smelling heart chakra oil.

Back in my car, I whipped out the oil and put a few drops on my 4th chakra, near my heart. I don't know if it was the smell of the lavender and rose or just the comfort of knowing that there are people out there who have a healing touch, but my back felt better almost immediately. As for my heart, it's a work in progress.

Full frontal

I'll admit it: I'm a little reluctant to fork over $34.99 for the one-month membership package to Match.com. I've been on there off and on over the years and the only thing it's ever gotten me was more depressed about the lack of decent, eligible, and relationship-worthy men in the DC area. Oh, that and a guy who once told me I was "small enough to fit in my trunk."

Sure, sure, we've all heard the stories of people who have met on match and even gotten married. Heck, I know a lovely couple who met online and it almost, almost gives me hope. [And if you know of any, send 'em to me--sachamarried2010@gmail.com--I need inspiration!].

The other alternative is to post or respond to an ad on Craigslist--a crap shoot at best. You always run the risk of clicking on an ad marked with a photo that shows a shirtless guy next to his neon orange motorcycle or something far worse (go ahead, use your imagination).

This isn't to say that you might not find the same guy posing on Match.com--I've seen plenty of the shirtless/motorcycle/sportscar/mustached guys while flipping hopelessly through the Match.com profiles, but at least you don't have to worry about a random, full-frontal crotch shot.

All that being said, Craigslist is free, and that's a pretty big plus in my (frugal) book. We'll see--I'm not quite there yet but if things don't pick up by, say, September, you'll find me and my profile online.

Puppy love

The year is off to a slow start. Last night's NYE party was fantastic--loads of bubbly and karaoke. However, it also meant that I woke up with an unfortunate hangover and only enough energy to meet Sheryl and Nancy for some Thai food and a visit with Puck Wonderdog. Oh, if all men could be as sweet, affectionate, and loyal as Puck. Plus, he likes peanut butter as much as I do.

And now for a quote from uber guru Dr. Wayne Dyer:

"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."

Here's to looking at things differently in 2010.

Let the countdown begin

In 48 hours I will be committed. No, not to a mental ward (although that wouldn't be that much of a stretch), but to this project, which I have come to think of as a conceptual art piece rather than a desperate attempt to get hitched. And speaking of hitched, I am slightly modifying my rather onerous goal of getting married in 2010 to getting engaged in 2010. Still a lofty achievement, but seriously--can I really get engaged and plan a wedding in 12 months? I think not.

Assuming I'm not hideously hungover on Friday, I've agreed to go to a yoga class with two friends. This could provide ample opportunity to meet a nice sweaty yoga dude. Unfortunately, the classes are usually mat-to-mat chicks, but one never knows. Until the 1st, I bid you adieu and happy new year!

Help a singleton out

Feeling the urge to help me on my quest to happy coupledom? Here are the top 10 ways you can get involved:

1. Fix me up with your uncle/cousin/brother/best friend
2. Follow me on Twitter: @married2010
3. Contribute to my year-long membership to match.com, eharmony, or Jdate.
4. Help me get on Oprah/Ellen/Martha
5. Write about me in national magazines and newspapers
6. Link to this blog
7. Tell your friends to link to me and follow me on Twitter
8. Arrange a dinner party with me and your most eligible male friends
9. Send in a photo or video of your eligible cousin/uncle/brother/friend
10. Create a fan page on Facebook that links back to this blog

oh and one more: Find me a matchmaker with more tact than Patty, the Millionaire Matchmaker.